Any instant messaging application should not be the means to face differences with your loved one. Mixing communication technology with a couple discussion is one of the worst mistakes in a relationship. The WhatsApp and any other instant messaging application should not be the means to face differences with your loved one since mainly gestures are not denoted.
Remember that a chat is just predetermined letters and emojis that can even be misinterpreted. The same happens with the voice notes, the fact of not establishing a quick and direct exchange, during the discussion, could only move away from the search for a solution.
Constant arguing in a relationship
As if that were not enough, the WhatsApp presents captious options like hiding or not your last hour of connection. As well as the double blue ‘check’ to indicate if your message was “read”.
The meaning of what is meant changes
Each one gives the intonation and the sense that seems to him to the messages that the other person writes. The Female Attitude portal (actitudfem.com) indicates that, in most cases, we understand the messages according to what we think, instead of understanding the true intention with which they were sent.
The culprits are those famous blue popcorn, which makes us almost always believe that the other person decided to ignore us. But remember, if the message was opened, it does not mean that it was also read. And not that the other person is crossed arms without wanting to answer you.
The importance of face-to-face contact
Some people literally hate to argue with messages. So it is likely that if you run into someone like that, ignore your messages not because you do not care what you are saying, but because you prefer to speak face to face. This is perhaps the most essential reason for a couple.
The conversations are saved
If you did not know how to contain your courage and were rude or hurtful, asking for forgiveness may not be enough when your partner re-read your messages.
How to stop constant arguing in a relationship
Follow these guidelines to better regulate communication and emotions in your relationship, adapting these ideas to your specific case. This natural remedies will help you to get a stressfree life.
1. Control your expectations
You should not assume that the goal is to never argue with your partner again, because that is unrealistic. The fact of adopting the expectation of maintaining an ideal relationship in which everything is constantly smiling can be, in itself, a source of conflict, something that predisposes us to become frustrated and angry about any detail and imperfection.
2. Do not keep anything important
The fact of avoiding conflict by hiding information is also something that can aggravate the problem, causing the chain of lies created to hide that generate discomfort and eventually anger when unpleasant surprises appear.
3. Adopt constructive attitudes
Some confuse to point out that the other has done something wrong in humiliating the other because he has done something wrong. The first is necessary so that this behavior does not happen again, but the second only serves for the other person to become defensive, reaffirm himself and believe that he has done nothing wrong.
It is a phenomenon that occurs through a process known as cognitive dissonance: if the other person shows a very bad image of us, one that deserves ridicule, then the other person is wrong and as a consequence has no reason to criticize our behavior.
4. Avoid mixing reproaches
It is important that, when complaining about something, we refer only to what we are criticizing at that moment, and that we do not take advantage of that as an excuse to bring up the subject of a previous discussion in order to have more ammunition with which to attack the other person. The latter is not honest, does not serve to solve the problem and also favors the appearance of conflicts.
5. Shows affection
This is a basic piece of advice: since you love the other person, show him or her through the daily signs of affection. Otherwise, the only thing that will be evident is the frustration and discontent in the moments in which it is discussed, but not love. Therefore, the relationship can become a battlefield.
In short, it is important to be clear that love is not something that is taken for granted; It must be expressed.
6. Talk a lot about what happens to you
Another of the tips on how to stop discussing so much is based on the idea that many times these clashes are caused by a lack of communication. This causes that one of the members of the couple remains in ignorance with respect to a subject that in case of knowing would consider important, and that when he knows about it, it makes him wonder why this lack of transparency is: lack of confidence? Inability to think about the other person? Disinterest in your point of view?
7. Put a limit on humor
Some people confuse humor with constantly ridiculing the other person. This not only does not make sense, but in practice can become something that significantly damages the couple, and in extreme and frequent cases can be considered a type of psychological abuse, as with gaslighting.
It is one thing to laugh with a person, and the other is to laugh at the person. Humor cannot be a shield with which to cover cruelty and attacks on the dignity of the other, because that generates frustrations and anger, and what is more important, harms the victim.
8. Talk about your priorities
Knowing the other person’s concerns and interests are fundamental to understanding what moves them to act. Being aware of the mental world of the other makes it possible to draw joint plans more easily and that a situation does not occur in which one’s needs are subject to those of the other, with the consequent resentment and accumulated frustrations.
Relationships are always complicated. Because constant arguing in a relationship is not good. The emotional involvement, the expectations of future plans and the fact of having to distribute tasks are potential sources of conflict, to which we also have to add other sacrifices related to courtship and marriage.